Through Rose Colored Glass
by noodlepower
Summary: Trains are such delightful things to ride. One can watch the scenery pass by and feel such peacefulness. But does anyone really realize that trains live a rather pitiful existence? Sephiroth does and thus they have earned his deepest sympathy.
1. Flowers In Midgar

Midgar was one fucked up place to live. The place was like a living black hole. Once you got sucked into its jaws, there was no escape. There was no hope. It turned people into bitter, heartless creatures, slaving away to make it through another day. But on top of the plate, the corporate assholes and their families lived in luxury while shitting on the people stuck beneath the plate. Underneath the plate, people were prisoners - starved and diseased prisoners. And Aeris hated it with fiber of her existence. She wanted to see Midgar destroyed. No, she wanted to see Shinra destroyed.

The state of destitution Midgar fell into was because of Shinra. The President of Shinra Inc. didn't care about the Planet. But she was sure that if the President heard the Planet screaming in agony every fucking day in his head, he'd have a change of heart. Aeris hated Shinra - she hated having to always be fearful of being snatched away. She hated the way the world was slowly dying. But most of all, she hated being alone. She was the last of her kind. There was no one left to understand the ways of the Planet. There was no one but her to protect the Planet. And she was going to die. Aeris had pleaded and begged with the Planet for a different way but it showed her no other alternatives.

Her death was inevitable. She would never get a chance to fall in love. Never get married. Never make real friends. Never have kids. Aeris had no hope but yet hope resided in her. She was this Planet's last hope and Aeris understood it was her duty to protect the Planet. By God, she would not let her mother's death be in vain. Though Aeris tried so hard to remain hopeful, each passing day proved to be more difficult than the last.

Aeris sighed, trudging along the sidewalk. People pushed and shoved her as they moved hurriedly to their destination. No one ever smiled in Midgar. She didn't count the lecherous smiles. But that was the kind of place Midgar had become. No one smiled. Was there to smile about, really? She stopped at the corner of the street, looking both ways before crossing. As she walked, she noticed someone who was completely out of place in the dirty, filthy rat hole of Midgar.

He was tall, so very tall, with a gorgeous mane of silver hair trailing down his back. No, his hair was not gray, like that of the old, but an intriguing color of pale silver, almost white. The stranger was dressed in a black trench coat and baggy trousers held up by crisscross straps. Aeris noticed that he was shirtless, not that she minded, because his chest was finely sculpted. And his boots went up to almost his thighs. Aeris tilted her head as she watched him making his way down the street. He must have felt her staring at him because suddenly she found herself staring up into the most haunting, emerald eyes she'd ever seen, eyes that looked so much like her own.

'Is he like me?' she wondered, as she quickly made her way over to him. The Planet went eerily quiet as she neared him, as if it too was curious of the new encounter. The man watched as she neared him, moving swiftly through the crowded streets with a look near desperation on her face. It made him, if only for a second, wonder at the strange girl who sought his attention.

"Sir! Excuse me! Sir!"

The sound of her voice snapped him back into reality and he frowned, annoyed by the girl who dared stop him… stop him from what? From returning to his empty quarters; but it was better to be alone than with people who would inevitably hurt him. The man turned on his heel and continued walking away from the girl in the pink dress with desperate eyes.

Aeris moved quicker in order to catch up to him. She noticed that he never faltered in his steps. He never slowed down. He never sped up. He just walked, disregarding everything around as if it were beneath him. "Sir!" Aeris yelled, finally reaching out to touch his arm.

He stopped finally, snatching his arm away from her, and gave her a very annoyed glare. "What is it you want?"

"Ah, nothing." She found herself struggling for air one hand on knee as she tried to give her body time to recoup. Aeris wasn't out of shape but she definitely wasn't in shape.

"I see," the man replied, his voice deep and seductive and arrogant. It crawled along Aeris' skin and she couldn't help the tiny gasp that escaped her lips. "You wasted my time for nothing."

"Would you care to buy a flower? It's only a gil. For you, one gil."

The man regarded her for a moment. Flowers in Midgar were a rarity, perhaps as rare as the girl that dared stop him. The man thought of crushing her hopeful face, of saying some cruel words to cut her down, but he couldn't. It wasn't that he cared; of course not, it was just that he appreciated the Planet and the gifts it gave even if the rest of the populace were to ignorant to do so.

"Flowers in Midgar…" he whispered, reaching into his pocket and dropping his money into the basket she'd dropped near her feet. He reached down and picked up a white flower, a lily if he recalled correctly. It was a real flower... and he crushed in his hand, throwing the petals at the flower girl. "Flowers are only meaningful if you have someone to give them too."

The girl was a peculiar one, the man thought, because she did not become enraged at his actions. She just simply smiled. And not just a regular smile but a _knowing_ smile, an _understanding_ smile. Aeris was the only one in Midgar that still smiled such a _genuine_ smile.

And so he left her there, smiling even though that cheerfulness never seemed to quite reach her eyes.

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A/N: I am **not** writing this because I think I have a cool plot idea.

I am **not** writing this because I think I am talented writer.

I am **not** writing this for reviews (though they are always nice).

I _**am**_, however, writing this fic for my own sheer amusement. I can not guarantee you that I will finish it but I will try my hardest. It's something that has been floating around in my head for awhile and inspiration comes in short bursts these days because I'm so busy with real life stuff. I try to keep this fic updated in my LJ and I only uploaded this particular fic here because I usually like to have my stuff in more than one place on the Internet.

The first chapter in my LJ is the unedited version and is only slightly different than this. I hadn't planned on editing but I figured if I was going to put it on then I might as well make some attempt. Like I said, this fic is for my own personal amusement and if you like it too, then great.

Oh, and my purpose, for those who may wonder, is to explore a darker side of Aeris while still trying to keep her relatively IC.


	2. Prisoners of Shinra

Midgar was one fucked up city. Sephiroth hated this place, this industrialized prison, with every fiber of his existence. The city was overrun with crime, with monsters, and with disease. It was a city of hopelessness. The people beneath the giant plate were too poor to move. And even if they did by some miracle leave Midgar, the journey to another village was dangerous, especially by foot. Sephiroth was well aware that the average person in Midgar couldn't afford a vehicle to cross the terrain. Hell, they couldn't even afford the chocobo caravan to carry them across to the nearest village.

Sephiroth hated Midgar. It was so damn bleak and depressing, with its steel structures and barren land and polluted sky that caused an eternal darkness to exist over the city. But he couldn't blame the city. The city itself had done nothing wrong. If there was anyone to blame for the shithole Midgar had become, then it was President Shinra himself. Sephiroth was aware of what people said about President Shinra. They called him a fat, lazy bastard. Greedy. Cold. Ruthless. Those things may have been true but one could not help but respect him. The man had plenty of sense when it came down to business.

Originally, President Shinra came from an extremely wealthy family and the whole cycle of things were started with the current President Shinra's grandfather. He and his family used to live in Sector One, back when it had a name. But whatever that name may have been has long since been forgotten. The President, though, had a vision. He had a vision of ultimate power and wealth. And he knew that in order to accomplish his goals, he had to create a need and monopolize on it. So, while all the businessmen were investing in coal and steam powered machines, President Shinra invested in science.

People back then laughed at him. They called him a fool but he never let that stopped him. Shinra took his family's wealth and started up Shinra Research Facility. He hired among them the best and brightest of scientists. And so many scientists flocked to him because their projects were all underfunded. Many scientists back then could only practice it as a hobby because no one believed in it. Nonsense, people said.

But President Shinra believed in it. He believed it could make him the wealthiest man in the world. His scientists labored daily until the greatest discovery in the world had been made by Professor Gast. Electricity.

At first, people were against it. So President Shinra had authorized the construction of a couple hundred mini-generators to power a select few homes, particularly the wealthy homes. Soon, they realized how much more convenient it was to have electricity. So, in Sector One, the first reactor was built. And soon thereafter, the seven remaining reactors were built. These were good times. People were happy. Their electric bills were reasonable. However, the lands slowly started to die. Plants stopped growing causing a shortage of crops. The price of food increased as grocery stores had to import foreign crops. Eventually, the shortage of food caused a famine in Midgar.

On top of that, monsters had started appearing in the land, viciously attacking citizens. This lead to step two and three of President Shinra's plan. First, he developed the Weapons Research Department of his company. This particular department of Shinra developed weapons to help fight off the monsters. Of course, since the monsters at that time were only limited to the Midgar area, Shinra expanded his services by selling them to foreign nations, thus increasing his pockets. He became the number one weapons supplier.

Then developed an Urban Development Research Department in his company, again hiring only the brightest engineers around. His goal was to unify the villages, building a giant steel wall around the eight villages to keep the monsters out. While the Urban Development Research Department worked on the construction of the wall, the Public Safety Maintenance Department was created to police the areas and protect the citizens. Or as some would say to keep the fear of Shinra embedded into the hearts of the people.

Meanwhile, Shinra's Science Department was performing some rather unethical research. It was right around the time that Midgar was being constructed that Shinra's scientists discovered that if high levels of Mako were injected into a human, the subject's strength and magic abilities would increase dramatically compared to those who were not injected with Mako. But not everyone could handle the Mako injections and it baffled the most brilliant of scientists. And Sephiroth had heard in whispered conversations, that there was an experiment spear-headed by Hojo called 'The Jenova Project,' so named in honor of his mother. Sephiroth had tried assessing files in regards to that but with not much sucess - whatever that project was about was apparently so classified that not even President Shinra knew all the details of it.

Eventually, however, other nations turned their eyes to President Shinra as his power and wealth grew. He rose through the ranks politically, building reactors across the world. But he did run into resistance. Not everyone was so willing to open their arms to President Shinra, most notably Fort Condor, Junon, North Corel, Cosmo Canyon, and Wutai. North Corel went down first because of its lack of an organized military force. Scarlet often bragged of her accomplishments in North Corel but any idiot with half a brain could burn down a defenseless town.

But as these reactors were built worldwide, monsters started populating the world. And thus SOLDIER was created to combat these creatures and end the transcontinental war that the world had been locked in since the early stages of Shinra Inc development. Eventually, Shinra had enough money and power to wage war against those who resisted "progress" in an order to "suppress the desires and wishes of people." Propaganda.

Though Fort Condor and Cosmo Canyon resisted vehemently, the more immediate threat was Wutai. But Wutai would not be conquered until Shinra had commandeered control of Junon. After that, he established his navel fleet. The cold war suddenly became a full fledged war. Wutai was a tough opponent and things were not going according to plan - not until the science department discovered Jenova. A few years later, the man known the world over was born.

"My birth was Shinra's greatest victory," Sephiroth whispered, staring down at the streets from his balcony, "I was born. Or was I created?"

Sephiroth's life from birth on had been nothing but endless laboratory tests. Injection after goddamned injection. Rigorous military training. In his world, there was no time for him to be a child. He was born as an adult. Treated as an adult. He was expected not to cry, not to whine, not to complain, and most definitely, not to play. Sephiroth was meant only to obey his orders. And that he did with a deadly tenacity. Sephiroth always did as he ordered; nothing more or less. His free will had been stripped from him the day he uttered his first, lonely cry into the world.

He was completely and utterly alone in the world, an alien being amongst humans, beaten and trained to do their bidding. No matter how hard he tried, Sephiroth had the hardest time relating to people and thus Shinra had intentionally forced him into isolation, perhaps as a way to keep him under control. It wouldn't do if there was someone else to fill his head with ideas, ideas of hating Shinra, like the little flower girl with desperate eyes. Sephiroth tugged the corners of his lips up in a dark smile. There was no way to deny the truth: he was different. The steel cage that contained him was proof that he was something less than human.

Sephiroth never dated. He never wanted to be touched. He hated being touched. As a child, people were constantly touching him, violating him, watching him. So once he'd escaped those damnable laboratory experiments, he tended to shy away from human contact. And because very few people actually gave a damn about his thoughts, he rarely shared them which only served to distance him even further from others. Sephiroth was a cold person; not necessarily cruel, though he could be when he wanted to because he knew all about cruelty from his childhood. No, he was just frigid. There was always an air of seriousness surrounding him mixed in with his arrogance because Sephiroth knew he was the best. And yes, Sephiroth had his pride and his vanity. And yes, he was overconfident and rightly so. No one matched skills intellectually or physically though Hojo, the one whose care he had been left in, still had the ability to strike a small amount of fear in him. Only Hojo could really make him feel worthless and dirty and ugly.

Sephiroth was organized, methodical, and calculating. People feared him. Even the higher ups were cautious in dealing with him because the things he did on the battlefield became stories of legend. More so than ever, because of his inhuman strength, people isolated themselves from Sephiroth. Because human beings were not capable of his strength, of his intelligence… hell, they weren't even capable of his hair color. If it doesn't really look like a human and act like a human, it must not be a human.

Was he really the only one? Was there no one else on the Planet like him? The thought made him bitter because he _**wanted**_ to be like everyone else. Sephiroth had no idea of his true origins. No one would ever tell him anything so he eventually stopped asking. Only Hojo, in his rare moments of kindness (or perhaps sanity), would make mention of his mother. A wave of sadness hit Sephiroth hard, so hard it left him breathless. He lied to himself on many occasions, telling himself that he didn't care if his mother was dead; her life meant nothing. It was stupid to have a desire for a woman he'd never seen or more stupid to have a desire for a woman that left him in the care of Hojo. What kind of **_decent_** human being leaves a child in the hands of someone like Hojo?

Sephiroth told himself that he didn't really give a damn about his mother.

It was a comforting lie.

Sephiroth sighed and walked back inside to his bedroom, where he plopped down on the bed, hoping that he could fall asleep. Some nights, or rather most nights, he couldn't sleep. He was afraid to sleep; afraid of what might haunt his dreams. But tonight and he didn't know why, but tonight – he believed his dreams would be filled with images of falling flower petals because that peculiar girl from the slums in that annoyingly pink dress was somehow ingrained in his subconscious. He didn't actively think about her but she was there, just teetering on the outer edges and Sephiroth wondered if she affected everyone she met like that. "And if you, little flower girl, were free to roam the world… where would you go?" he whispered to himself, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Sephiroth sympathized with the flower girl because he was cold not cruel, indifferent not uncaring. And because he too was a prisoner of Midgar... a prisoner of Shinra.

* * *

A/N: Many thanks to my kind reviewers. I am glad that there are others who enjoy this fic as much as I am enjoying writing it and experimenting with different sides of Aeris and Sephiroth.

Well, this underwent some major editing. It's nothing like I originally wrote it. Well, it is a tad bit but still... I provided background info on Shinra's history and yes, I took creative liberties with that. It started with me wondering... 'What would Sephiroth think about alone on his balcony?' And why not Shinra? It is after all a major part of his life and more than likely, the only thing he has ever known. I did not want to focus on Sephiroth thinking completely about Aeris; I wanted him to think of her in fleeting moments, mostly because I view Sephiroth as being too narcissistic to think about someone he doesn't really know (or like/respect) for an extended period of time unless said person has some major impact directly upon his life. Also, I was _**trying**_ to show how Aeris' and Sephiroth's thoughts somewhat parallel. I don't know if I did a good job on that or not.


	3. Conversations Overheard

_"You guys won't believe this!"_

_There were curious stares and a few mumbled 'whats' as the man bounced up and down, waving his arms like a mad man. "Chloe, the new receptionist in the lobby, threw herself at Sephiroth today!"_

_"What!?" Sounds of astonishment and appreciation floated through the room. "She's hot. Damn the General's lucky to be getting all that ass for free!"_

_"But the General turned her down. Said he wasn't interested in someone like her."_

_"What!? Is he gay?"_

_The man who came to deliver the news remained oddly quiet. His silence meant consent. The others, upon realizing this, roared in laughter. Their leader was a fairy._

Sephiroth stood outside the locker room as his men laughed at him. His shoulder's slumped slightly and sighed heavily. People didn't understand him at all. Sephiroth was far too great to lower his standards for someone like Chloe, regardless of her beauty. Chloe could not the understand the infiniteness of space or the weirdness of time. She couldn't understand the echoing sounds of the Planet or the endless cycle of life. Chloe was not a challenge to him, intellectually or spiritually. She couldn't appreciate death, no matter how insignificant and understand the greater meaning it held in life. These things were things that Sephiroth inherently understood and humans didn't. Not because they couldn't but they didn't try, didn't even want to really.

Humans were a plague upon the Planet and the thought made him pause. Exactly when did he stop thinking of himself as human...? And how long had this hatred inside of him been festering?

_I wonder if the General likes to take it like a bitch._

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and decided he'd always felt that way. The President was holding an awards ceremony to honor him and his men for a job well done on their last mission later today and Sephiroth was there to give them the message. Oh well, people missed ceremonies in their honor all the time. And he was pretty sure on their next mission that he would not help any of them. If they died, it would be because of their own weakness.

Because, yes, Sephiroth was petulant and vindictive and if asked, he'd tell you that revenge tasted very sweet.

* * *

A/N: This is short and totally not what I originally wrote. I felt that what I originally wrote did not really follow the path of the story but I didn't want to leave the bit in italics out so I came up with this part of my fic kind of spontaneously. This was mostly written just for fun because I always wanted to write Sephiroth being petty and so I tried to work in with this fic. The next part though will pick up (hopefully) with the flow of this fic. Thank you guys for reviewing by the way. (^_^)

* * *


	4. First Taste of Power

Being in SOLDIER kept Sephiroth busy enough but he found much of his time occupied with paperwork; **_meaningless, boring_** paperwork. It was dull and repetitive but Sephiroth completed his tasks without complaint. He was a well-trained dog, he thought with some self-deprecation. Sephiroth did without fail everything that Shinra asked of him and he did it with deadly efficiency. He almost never questioned why and almost never strayed from the Shinra HQ, where the SOLDIER's quarters were located. No one had told him he had to stay there – they just merely said, "And here are your living quarters."

No one asked him if he liked it. No one told him to stay there either but he did. In all honesty, Sephiroth had nowhere else to go. There was no family waiting for him beyond Shinra Inc. Sephiroth imagined that it must feel nice to have a family but those kind of thoughts were childish fantasies which had he stomped out many long years ago. Those feelings of want allowed for people to abuse and control him.

And the irony of his situation hit him like a freight train. Despite the fact that he had long given up the thought of ever being able to connect emotionally with someone else in order to protect himself from being used, he was **_still_** being controlled by other people. Shinra had him on a fucking leash. He could never escape from the metallic tower and glass cages that Shinra had locked him in.

Suddenly, an image of pink flashed through his mind. He could clearly see her, that flower girl who annoyed him with her innocent face. She smiled at him – and not just any smile but a true, genuine smile and Sephiroth wondered how any one in the slums could smile. For a moment, just a moment, Sephiroth wondered if the flower girl felt the chains of captivity the way he did. Did she ever cry about anything? Follow rules she hated? Did she bow down and accept a fate she could not change?

Was the flower girl free? Hardly, he thought pessimistically. No one was free from the prison of Midgar, from the slave masters of Shinra. In this giant, fucked up world, everyone was a prisoner. Even the little flower girl, who seemed so desperate that day she reached out to him. Even something that innocent looking held onto to traces of sadness. She was not free. No freer than he himself.

"Freedom," Sephiroth whispered. The word tasted like sweet ambrosia on his lips, something he could become absolutely drunk off of.

And so, when Scarlet walked in, dressed in the skimpiest red dress he'd ever seen on a woman, her face caked with make-up and her bleach blonde hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun that was meant to be fashionable but was just plain ugly to Sephiroth, he did something differently.

He stood up.

And that in itself made Scarlet pause. Sephiroth never stood up when she entered a room but she didn't much of it, though she should have because Sephiroth tended to mostly be a creature of habit outside of the battlefield. She was carrying a stack of files and set them on his desk. "Finish these reports, yeah?"

"No."

Scarlet took a step back, the surprise evident on her face. Sephiroth always accepted orders when it came from someone above him and Scarlet, as an executive member of Shinra, definitely outranked him by far. Not only that, but Sephiroth was a yes-man. He was trained to completely obey all orders from any Shinra executive and when orders conflicted, he was to follow the direct order of President Shinra himself. Or at least, that's what Hojo said and the man was hardly ever wrong. So, Sephiroth's blatant refusal made her pause.

"No?" she repeated dumbly.

"No."

While Scarlet was at a loss, not knowing what to do, Sephiroth decided then and there that he liked the way it felt to say no. He liked the way his tongue touched the roof of his mouth and then fell down as he uttered the word 'no.' He felt a surge of power shift through him, as if he finally had some control over his destiny. No was a very good word, indeed, and Sephiroth wanted to keep this feeling flowing in him for as long as possible. It wasn't true freedom but it came damn close to it; choosing his own path, making his own decision.

But would Shinra respect his decisions?

Masamune, Sephiroth's sword, hung on the wall behind him. He reached for it rather slowly. At least, to Scarlet, it seemed like slow motion. But then all of a sudden, as if someone had suddenly pressed the fast forward button on the remote control, she found herself at the end of Sephiroth's sword. She gulped a bit, not sure how to handle the situation because Sephiroth had never snapped so suddenly, not without warning and most certainly _**never**_ over a stack of paperwork. "Okay. So, I'll get someone else to do the reports. No need to overreact."

"Really?" Sephiroth asked, pressing his sharp blade just a fraction harder against her throat so that it drew blood.

Scarlet's eyes grew larger as she felt the sting of her skin being sliced and the warmness of her blood, running down her neck. "Is there something bothering you, Sephiroth? Maybe you're overworked, needing a vacation. Put your weapon down and I'll forget about this and mention to President Shinra you need some time off."

"No," he told Scarlet, who was starting to tremble slightly. Under the weight of Sephiroth's emerald glare, Scarlet was beginning to realize that she was powerless against him. She didn't dare use her feminine wiles against him – the entire Shinra Corporation knew the man was immune to the female anatomy. There was nothing left for her to do other than appeal to Sephiroth's mercy and by the gods, she wondered if any existed behind the green fire burning brightly in his eyes.

Was this it? Was her pathetic life going to end before she'd even had her first sip of morning coffee?

Scarlet refused to close her eyes. She couldn't have even if she wanted too. Being at the sharp end of Sephiroth's blade was like passing by a car accident. You didn't really want to see anyone lying dead on the road but you looked just because some morbid curiosity inside of you wouldn't allow you to turn your head. It was like some internal instinct needed us to see the tragedy with our eyes in order to validate its truthfulness.

Scarlet took a deep breath. Sometimes, a good verbal beating from Hojo seemed to put Sephiroth in his place and she was trying to decide if that tactic would work now. But one look into those eyes; those fucking, _**accusing**_ green eyes that bore into her very soul and she realized that she didn't want Sephiroth to kill her. Of course, she didn't want to die at all if possible but she really did not want to die by Sephiroth's hand.

A death delivered by him wouldn't be an ordinary death; it would be an otherworldly experience, something beautiful and painful and absolutely divine. Sephiroth would strip her naked and pluck every sin from her defiled body. He would make her acknowledge that she was nothing more than putrid filth infecting the Planet. Sephiroth would make her realize that she was never connected to anyone, that she was alone and should be honored… _**fucking honored**_… that someone like him would choose to send her back to the Planet, back to the Lifestream where life originated from, where she would be connected; part of a collective consciousness and never alone.

And so how the fuck could someone whom she spent years degrading suddenly make her feel like worthless shit? Where did this new presence emanating throughout him suddenly come from? Why did she feel _**more human**_ in his presence?

She whispered his name like a breathless lover. _Sephiroth._

If today just _had_ to be the day for her to die, then she wanted someone else to kill her; someone that was mad with rage or passion. Murders were not supposed to be cold and methodical. Murders were done in fits of raging emotions; they were done in the heat of the moment. Murders were committed when heated arguements and raging battles finally reached its climax; when all that pent up hate and resentment came bursting out in a violent array of colors.

_**Murder was supposed to be as passionate as a kiss from a long, lost lover! Your body was supposed to be pumping with the same kind of adrenaline rush as dark chocolate melting on your tongue! Murder was supposed to be as fulfilling as a man pushing his way inside a willing virgin!  
**_

But this – standing before Sephiroth with his sword pressed against her throat – it was wrong. There was only cold detachment, as if she was merely another object in his way to be cut down and discarded. She was no longer a human being with feelings and ambitions and desires. In his eyes, she was his prey, an animal that was to be hunted and gutted, left to die all alone. Scarlet couldn't deal with this. She didn't know how to deal with this emotionless moment that should be filled, bursting, with emotions. Where was the satisfication? Where was the justification? Where were all the elements that made murder exciting and scary and dangerous and not just some task to be taken of care on lunch break?

Damnit! If he was going to kill her, he could at least the deceny to treat her like she was actually somebody. But she was nothing to him. Scarlet, Head of the Weapons Department for the most powerful corporation on the Planet and she was being looked at like she was nothing. It was ridiculous actually. And in that moment, she hated being in that room, with the air tasting of loneliness and smelling like misery… with nothing but those glaring eyes and the tip of his gigantic sword itching to taste her blood. Scarlet felt the goose bumps popping up across her skin. Sephiroth's iciness was drifting from his soul and settling itself into her bones and causing her heart to constrict so she couldn't breathe. And she thought, this is what it must feel like to have an injury inflicted upon the soul and heart so great that it never heals.

Scarlet realized that she must be going crazy if she was feeling remorse for the man that wanted to kill her. And so she closed her eyes to break whatever infatuation spell Sephiroth must have cast on her. She took several deep breaths and when she opened her eyes again, his was still looking at her with those fucking, cat-like eyes that could see beyond her flesh.

**G****od damnit**, she wanted to rip out Sephiroth's eyes with her nails! There was nothing in his eyes; absolutely nothing but that _accusing_ glare that was _judging_ _her_. He wasn't a god. He was a freak of nature, a fucking lab experiment. The only existence he had was what Shinra gave him and she wanted him to know this. Scarlet's deep, blue eyes hardened and she hoped Sephiroth saw every ounce of hate she had for him and his unnatural existence.

And the blade pressed harder against her skin.

And again that feeling of not wanting to die by him returned tenfold. But Sephiroth was really going to kill her... kill her because he didn't want to do the fucking paperwork. It was ridiculous; she'd survived life on the streets only to die because of _paperwork_. She'd prostituted herself out, stripped, took beatings from men she didn't love all in the name of surviving. But to die, unloved and alone in a small, Shinra office tucked away in the corner of the building over fucking paperwork, Scarlet did the only thing she could think of: she laughed.

Sephiroth misinterrupted her self-deprecating laughter and quickly raised his leg. With one powerful kick, he sent Scarlet wheeling backwards, through the steel doors and crashing through the glass wall across from his office. Distantly, Scarlet could him someone scream and she tried to think of who office was across from Sephiroth's office but the name escaped her. It's funny the things that people think of in the most inopportune times.

She wanted to say something but the force of Sephiroth's kick caused her insides to explode. The contents of her stomach came up but it was all blood. The crack of her head hitting bouncing off the floor left her disoriented and confused. She struggled for a moment, trying to crawl but her entire body was wracked with intense, near blinding pain. So Scarlet decided to just lay still and die like a good girl.

She blinked rapidly a couple of times and all she could see was black, leather boots ever so slowly approaching her. There was a glint of sliver and then a burning sensation in her abdomen. She had expected pain, indescribable pain when he ran his sword through her stomach, but Scarlet was surprised that it **_burned_** more than hurt. It was like her body had been set on fire from the inside out and she could find no release from the fire caressing her innards.

Sephiroth's divine punishment; she would burn eternally in his fire, his agonizing fire that no amount of ice and water could cool. It burned, by God, it burned and tormented her. It left her a screaming heap of entrails and blood. Her screams reverberated throughout the entire building and the other employees stood by, watched in fear as Sephiroth gutted Scarlet. What should they do? What were they supposed to do? And who dared to stop him?

"No, Scarlet," Sephiroth said, before pulling his sword from her stomach. She watched with horror as her own blood dripped slowly from the tip of his sword and he walked away casually,_** casually**_, as if he hadn't just run her through like a worthless pig.

It was then that she understood the meaning of his no. It wasn't that Sephiroth didn't want to do the paperwork; no, that wasn't it all. This was Sephiroth's rebellion. It was a message to Shinra, to Hojo, to the world: _don't fuck with me anymore_.

Scarlet just happened to be the unlucky fool in the wrong place at the wrong time. And she hadn't even had her first sip of morning coffee.

* * *

A/N: I'm not happy with this one. I'll probably re-write it later... but yes, Sephiroth has taken his first tiny step towards rebellion. Actually, the scene originally ended with Sephiroth just refusing to do what Scarlet wanted but then I had a flash back of the FFVII game when she goes "Kyahahaha" and I wanted to gut her. I don't dislike Scarlet but I sure hated reading "Kyahaha" whenever she was on-screen. Yes, the Scarlet gets stabbed thing was just me being indulgent but I tried to make her senseless torture make sense and flow with the fic. Don't know if I achieved this... but oh well... onwards to more writing! Aeris is up next!


	5. Dying Planet

The gardens that Aerith tended kept her busy enough. She loved the smell of the earth and the way the little seeds she planted struggled to grow in the polluted soil of Midgar. The earth was infected, slowly dying and nothing grew in Midgar. The air in Midgar was dirty and many of the Slums residents suffered from respiration problems. People in the slums couldn't afford the filtered air the rich enjoyed above the Plate.

Aeris did her part. Or at least tried too. She would work for hours in her gardens, pulling weeds and watering her plants. She'd picked the best flowers in her gardens and sold them on the streets despite her mother's protest of selling the best ones. Aeris knew that men in Midgar were lecherous but she too could play their game. She'd insult them politely, play her hard to get game, and bat her pretty eyes. And then she'd charge them 300 gil for the flowers and for her - for those long creamy legs and enchanting green eyes - they'd pay anything. But those rare, few men – the good ones who were trying to make a decent living – she hadn't the heart to charge them at all but settled on one gil because she and her mother still had to eat.

Hell, she tried to brightened Midgar but how could she alone make this place, this metallic prison, more bearable? Her smiles weren't enough. Her generosity wasn't enough. The disease of Shinra had infected much more than just the Planet, but the hearts of people. She was constantly surrounded by despair and hopelessness.

Men and women alike sought to escape in Sector Six. Pick your poison on Wall Street: be it the bottle, the needle, or in between the legs of a willing body. That was the kind of place Midgar had become...

Aeris sighed, laying in her little flowerbed of the abandoned church. The Planet was much more clearer when she was inside the church, when her body could touch purified soil and smell the sweetness of fresh grass. She had just watered her flowers and could feel the wetness of the blades in between her toes. Aeris, was without doubt, a child of the Earth.

The last one... the only one...

Her existence was a lonely one. Was the silver-haired man dressed in black as lonely as she? The thought flashed through her mind and she found the ache in her heart increase tenfold. She could still remember him; remember every detail of his haunting eyes, as he dropped the gil into her basket and crushed her beautiful flower. She spoken of the incident and was told he was General Sephiroth, the greatest SOLDIER in the world. But the grandeur of such a title baffled her because where others saw greatness, she saw sorrow. The Planet hummed happily in her head, the voices of her ancestors spoke a language she couldn't understand but she could sense the urgency mixed with comfort. She could sense the indecision. And for the billionth time that day, she wondered what the Planet could be thinking.

That was the problem, Aeris concluded, with being only half-Cetra. While full-blooded Cetra were able to understand the Planet, Aeris could not. It spoke to her in words that most times made no sense but she was highly in tuned to the Planet's emotions. Aeris had no one to share this with and when she spoke about the Planet, people stared at her like she was crazy. So Aeris stopped talking about it and accepted the fact that there was perhaps no one who could understand her.

Did the SOLDIER, the one whose eyes mirrored hers, have someone to help him? Did he ever the feel the frustration of not being understood? Of course not, she thought. Someone as great as him - he would have to be great in order to be in SOLDIER - would not have such weak feelings; he would not wallow around in self-pity. Not like her. She was weak; so damn weak. If only she was strong like the people who joined SOLDIER, she could change things. She could break down the metal prison and destroy the glass cages that kept the world living in misery... that kept her living in fear of the future.

War and money; it was like an endless waltz. Revolution. War. Peace. Each organization that rose to fight against Shinra, the more causalities increased. The cycle never stopped and the more the people fought; the more Mako Shinra sucked out of the planet. It was a slow, agonizing death that hurt the Planet, made it scream and wonder why no one listened. Abnormalities, things that did not belong to the Planet, had started appearing. Their presence sickened Aeris and angered the Planet.

God, she hated Shinra.

They only brought death and decay to the world; they were the instigators of this amoral society that had risen from the ashes of their greed. The more that Shinra desired, the more people died. And the more lonely voices that pleaded to her. She couldn't help the dead but she did listen to their stories. People often thought her strange with the way she would sit for hours, staring out into the empty space. But Aeris was listening to the dead, sharing in their knowledge. Sometimes, she could control the voices and sometimes she couldn't. She hated being different because she unnerved people, even her own mother.

Was there anyone who's loneliness rivaled her own? Was there anyone who's pain was great as hers?

And one word was carried across the wind... just one.  
_  
Sephiroth._

But the eyes she found herself staring into were not the color of emerald fire but rather the warm brown of autumn leaves.

* * *

A/N: I don't have a beta-reader. I've been considering one but eh.... for now, I'm sure you'll forgive my mistakes. There's not too much parallel between Seph and Aeris here. You know, Sephiroth kills while Aeris laments.


	6. Time According to Aeris

Time never stands still – it constantly in movement. And while we hurry and rush about our day because we don't have the time, time itself never rushes. It progresses steadily and it is only our humanness that makes us believe time has passed by quickly or slowly. And part of Aeris wanted to say that time had flown by quickly while another part of her, the less human side, had noticed no change in the progression of time.

Zack was funny.

Zack was sweet.

Zack was fun.

Zack was unpredictably predictable.

Zack was friendly.

Zack was understanding.

But Zack didn't understand her, not the way she wanted him too. Bless his heart, he tried, and it touched Aeris to know that he cared so much about her. Aeris tingled with excitement at the sweet kisses they shared and the very, inappropriate groping that took place in her little church, away from the watchful eyes of her mother. With Zack, she felt a little less lonely. Unfortunately, Zack was a SOLDIER and Zack was under the command of Sephiroth and thus Zack had many assignments that kept him away. So, while she delighted in her child-like romance with Zack, she still felt so utterly alone.

And these thoughts crossed her mind as she stared up into his warm, brown eyes. "Lemme guess," he chuckled, watching her expressionless face, "You're bored!"

"I've never been outside Midgar." Aeris was laying stretched out in her little garden, like she always did, when she was bored or just wanted to feel a closer connection to the Planet. She sat up and tucked her legs underneath her body. Her eyes, the exact same color of the Lifestream, bored into him. Zack was a good person; a really good person. He was a friend to the friendless and the Planet hummed happiness in his presence. The Planet liked Zack and that was definitely a good thing.

She must have been staring at him too long and too intensively because Aeris noticed the way Zack was starting to squirm. Aeris sighed before letting an apologetic smile ghost her lips, hoping it would make Zack more comfortable. He had admitted to her on more than one occasion that she freaked him out sometimes when she stared so intensively at him, like she was trying to peer into his soul. "Tell me about Wutai," she demanded though really, her soft voice hardly made it sound like a demand.

"Again?" Zack laughed, stooping to kiss her forehead. "Don't you ever get tired of my stories?"

"I've never been outside Midgar," she repeated, as if that explained everything.

"One day, Aeris, I promise to take you on a tour of the world."

A look of alarm quickly crossed her face. She shook her head, "What? No... I don't want to leave Midgar. I can't possibly..."

Zack sighed, not really sure what to do. He thought Aeris wanted to escape with the way she always talked about never having seen the world outside of Midgar. Had she been trapped inside of Midgar's metal walls so long that she was afraid to leave? "I thought you wanted to leave this place."

Time was a funny thing in that it wasn't just one dimensional but rather a complicated entity. People would say that time stops for some but that wasn't true. Time never stopped its movement but merely waited. And for her, time was waiting. Aeris was too afraid to step outside of Midgar but she knew time would not wait forever; it would enlist the help of its dear friend, Destiny, because Time absolutely could not stop. Time, Destiny, Fate, Death... Aeris trembled slightly at their names. People called them without thought, without reverence but Aeris knew these ancient gods existed, had always existed, and would continue to do until the last breath of life had been collected by Death.

"Don't worry about it," Aeris replied sweetly. She wanted to be normal and she could at least pretend she had some degree of normalcy around Zack. "I'm just being weird again."

"What!? Someone as cute as you? Weird!? No way," Zack joked, coaxing laughter from her. He liked to hear Aeris laugh because her laughter always reminded him of an eternal springtime. It was a weird image and one he couldn't explain but he could think of no other description to describe her laughter: eternal spring.

Aeris lazily stood up, with the help of Zack. She stretched a bit before following him over to one of the pews. She sat next to him and touched his face, which alarmed Zack somewhat. Aeris was hardly ever that forward but he didn't say anything. And why would he? It wasn't every a day a pretty girl touched him as gently and delicately as Aeris, his girlfriend. Zack smiled. He liked the way that sounded.

"Damn I'm lucky," he grinned.

"I know."

Aeris was a petite thing. She had a heart-shape face with long chestnut brown hair that she kept braided, and the most enchanting forest green eyes he'd ever seen. Her smile could start wars, he once told his friends, because she was truly that beautiful. Otherworldly; it was the only word he could think to accurately describe Aeris. She was completely out of place in the slums and Zack, from the moment he first saw her, wanted to put her in a glass cage and protect her. Zack had never been in love before but he was pretty sure what he felt for Aeris came damn close to it.

Aeris inched closer to Zack's lips, her own parted slightly. The warmth of her breath held Zack captivated. "Tseng came to see me the other day."

"And ruin the moment with talk of another man," Zack whined, pulling back from Aeris.

Aeris giggled feeling only slightly bad about bringing up Tseng. She hadn't really meant to talk about Tseng; it was just that he crossed her mind at that particular moment. "He says that Shinra has lost interest in me for now because of Sephiroth's defiance. Keeping him under control, he said, seems to be their top priority for right now."

"Shit," he cursed. It took him some time to get Aeris to open up to him but when she did... boy, did she lay a whammy on him when she confessed she was wanted by Shinra. Zack was determined, come hell or high water, that Aeris was not going to be captured by his employer. It put him in a rather delicate situation but Aeris was the worth the risk. "Shit. The executives are scared shitless because of his attack on Scarlet. Rumor has it she did something to Sephiroth, probably trying to get him in bed or something and wouldn't back off. I don't know if it's true though. I heard through the grapevine that President Shinra is pretty ticked off about what happened to Scarlet. He had Sephiroth locked up for damn near two months – well I don't know if he was locked up but nobody saw him for nearly two months. It was assumed though, that he would be locked up, General or not, after his crime."

"How is Scarlet?" Aeris asked. Zack had told her stories of Shinra employees but these people were all faceless to her.

"Pretty bad, I hear," Zack told her, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "They're not sure if she'll make it. The President has been punishing Sephiroth by giving him a lot of missions lately – like as soon as he finishes one, there's another. But the President is giving up, I think, because Sephiroth doesn't even seem tired. I've gotten to work with him on some of his missions. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah. What's he like?" Aeris asked, her eyes closed as she leaned against Zack. He smelled nice and was soft. She could get used to that feeling, she thought to herself.

"Like you." The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Aeris immediately tensed up and pulled away from him. "There's no one like me, Zack."

"Damn straight!" he replied just as quickly. The topic of Aeris's heritage was sensitive to her and Zack tried to remedy the situation quickly. "But Sephiroth always seems so lonely, so apart from everything. When I look at him, I can't help but wonder what he sees through his eyes. The same with you sometimes. I want to see the world through your eyes."

Aeris wasn't so sure if Zack really wanted to see the world through her eyes; she didn't want him too. She was a sweet and cheerful girl, most of the time, anyway but she didn't want Zack to know about the bitterness festering inside her chest. "It's okay. I'm not being very pleasant company, am I?"

She wrapped her arms around Zack and pulled him towards her, crushing her lips against his. She loved being Zack, loved the way she would slip her tongue inside his mouth. She loved the way her body pressed against his hard chest and the way she could feel his excitement poking her. Aeris loved the way her nipples hardened and she could the first tingles of wetness between her legs. Indeed, Aeris loved feeling like she was wanted and normal.

With Zack, she could pretend she didn't hear voices in her head and that she didn't feel the Planet coursing through every vein in her body. Aeris could pretend she was a normal girl living a normal life, or as normal a life one could have living in the slums. With Zack, she was just another girl... and she wanted it to stay that way...

But then he had to go and ask her that one question, that one question that would change everything.

"Would you like to meet Sephiroth?"

And for the god damned _**millionth**_ time, Aeris cursed destiny.

* * *

A/N: I'm so excited. I can't wait for Sephiroth and Aeris to meet! I'm not really pleased with this. I feel like I can never truly capture Zack's personality but I'm going to try because he's an important part of this fic. Thanks for your kind reviews!


	7. Time Waits Only For Him

People were fools to be concerned with time because time was not concerned with them. It moved at a constant pace, never speeding up or slowing down. It was only the observer's perception of time that made it seem like years flew by quickly or long work days never ended. While many believed that time was multi-dimensional, Sephiroth was so inclined to think that time moved in one direction: forward.

He wasn't one to scoff at time travel either but he didn't accept the theory that time, as an entity, would ever go any direction other than forward. Time was a straight line and the events that happened wherever time walked were all points in time. Sephiroth believed it was possible for animate objects to physically move themselves to different points on the line. But people were limited in their movements, only able to go as far as time had traveled. Beyond that, Sephiroth believed a gigantic vacuum of absolute nothingness existed. Outside of time's boundaries was where things eternal existed, plane mere mortals could never reach... a plane which the gods had barricaded themselves inside and sealed off entrance for the rest of humanity. Because gods couldn't be bothered with human affairs.

He'd once told Hojo his theory, expecting him to laugh mockingly at such weird thoughts, but Hojo only smiled at him. It was a benevolent smile, the kind of smile that made people feel all warm and happy on the inside. And whenever Hojo smiled like that, he looked much nicer, more in tune with life outside laboratories. "_Have you been reading about the Ancients?"_ Hojo asked him, his voice soft and warm and fatherly and all the things Sephiroth longed for when he was honest with himself. _"No,"_ he'd replied and then Hojo did laugh that mockingly cruel laugh that could make anyone feel like the dumbest person in the universe_. "How interesting,"_ Hojo told him, his eyes narrowing as he whipped out a notepad and pen from his lab coat and began jotting down some random notes about him, reminding Sephiroth that he was _**only**_ a lab specimen and not a human being with feelings and emotions and wants.

But that was the past and no good ever came from dwelling there.

And so Sephiroth did not concern himself with time because time could not be bothered to concern itself with him. People noted, with mild amusement, that Sephiroth moved according to his own definition of time. Perhaps, as people often accused, if he'd been a few minutes earlier a life might have been saved. This did not bother Sephiroth and told him so. What proof could they provide to say whether a couple of minutes might have saved someone's life? All people died; their deaths determined even before their conception. Fate, that wonderfully cruel bitch, had a sick sense of humor. Sephiroth decided that many years ago, when he was locked inside a glass cage, naked as the day he was born and people in white lab coats were looking at him and writing on clipboards and talking about their lovely families and ignoring his request for a cool, glass of water. No, Sephiroth paid no homage to the gods of old, the ones who were timeless.

Sephiroth's actions and his behavior sometimes contradicted each other. He didn't like people to show up late to anything, considered it disrespectful to the ones who were waiting. However, Sephiroth himself was often late and made no apologies about it. It was like Sephiroth felt the world could wait for him while he himself could not be bothered by the world. Zack frowned, stomping his foot as he started to pace back and forth.

He was outside the train station in Sector 0, where the Shinra HQ was located, waiting on Sephiroth. The first train to Sector Five slums had passed because Sephiroth hadn't shown up at the designated meeting time. After a long, two hour wait, the train had returned and was preparing to leave any minute. Zack was growing increasingly frustrated. Sephiroth had agreed to meet him there so he could take him to Aeris and he didn't want to go back on his word, even though Aeris didn't seem totally enthused. In fact, she only seemed to agree so as not to disappoint Zack and rob him of his bragging rights but that wasn't the important thing on his mind right now. No, the important thing was that Sephiroth was going back on his word and it was pissing Zack off.

Zack walked to the end of the platform where people rushing to catch the train and let out a frustrated growl. When he turned around, he found himself staring into a beautifully sculpted chest. He swallowed and resisted the urge to reach out and touch it, not because he was being perverted but rather Sephiroth seemed so unreal sometimes and touching him was the only to validate that he did indeed exist.

"So impatient."

Zack looked up into the eyes of the most elite of all of Shinra. The brilliant emerald glow from his violating stare (violating because Sephiroth had this uncanny way of making a person feel naked, and not naked in a sexual way but rather a way that made people feel like their faults, their sins could never be hidden from him) made he seem so damn otherworldly, like he didn't belong on this Planet. Honestly, Zack felt like he should kneel before Sephiroth's majestic stance.

"You're late."

"Am I?" And Sephiroth's voice had a way of licking against a person's skin like a tender lover. It was like that simple little larynx in his throat had power all its own. Sephiroth's voice, deep and soothing, was a conscious entity whose sole purpose was to seduce every person who heard it.

Sephiroth turned like a graceful dancer and somehow floated towards the train. No, he didn't actually float in the air but rather Sephiroth moved like a swimmer underwater, graceful and elegant and so damn sure of himself as his ridiculously long and unnaturally colored hair gently swung side to side by an invisible breeze Zack never felt. And Zack wished for the thousandth time that day for a swagger that was as memorizing as Sephiroth.

"Well yeah you're late," Zack finally managed to call out, running after Sephiroth (because if he was honest with himself, he was always running after Sephiroth). "You said..."

And there Zack stopped. Sephiroth had never said he'd come, never agreed to meet Aeris. Sephiroth just listened to him that day he proposed the idea inside Shinra's training room. And when he asked Sephiroth to meet her, his beautiful girlfriend, Sephiroth had asked him why.

_Why, Fair, should I meet your girlfriend? What purpose would it serve?_

_I like to think of you as my friend and I'd like to share a bit of my life with you. It's what people to do to connect with each other, you know, share their life._

_I see._

_And Sephiroth had left, never agreeing to anything._

"Okay, so why'd you come here then if you didn't want to meet my girlfriend?" he asked, sitting himself next to Sephiroth, whose long legs were stretched out in front of him, and somehow Sephiroth managed to look like he owned the damn train. "Why are you here?"

But Sephiroth never answered his question. It made him seem cold, distant, and mysterious and Zack found himself wishing that he could be like Sephiroth. But Zack, young and naive, didn't know (and really no one could have known) that it was only Sephiroth's pride that refused to acknowledge he was lonely and anyone's company was better than the company of his blinding, white walls in his living quarters. And the sounds of the city, so alive and full of life, were better the pounding of his heartbeat, which seemed so deafening inside the quietness of his apartment.

**A/N:** This has been sitting around forever so I decided to upload it. I forgot that I wrote this but just surfing around and re-visiting fandoms I used to be a part of, I remembered that I wrote and read it. And I was like wow - why didn't I finish this? So I'll try to write another chapter; see if I still have it in me. But I make no promises.


	8. The Fate of Trains

The fate of trains was a sad one, thought Sephiroth, as he stared out at the window of the empty train car. The train could go nowhere except for where its tracks led it. It moved eternally forward in one direction and once the train reached the end of its destination, it had no choice but to start all over at the beginning again. Sephiroth felt sympathy for the train – for he understood its plight. The train could never rise up to be more than what it was created to do. Was he not the same as the train?

Was he not born and bred to enforce the will of Shinra? For all his life, he'd been in the care of Hojo, a man he hated more than anything in the world. His life was just an endless flurry of testing; some painful others just merely annoying. It was so easy to fall into apathy. It was so easy not to care about anything or anyone. Because no matter what, at the end of the day, it all came back to the fact that he was owned by Shinra.

Sephiroth was product, an investment, and Shinra meant to collect. They'd isolated him from society, only introducing him to people when the time came to join the military and enter the SOLDIER program. He was ungrateful; Shinra fed him, clothed him, and gave him a place to stay, and employment as well as purpose in life. His dependency was utterly disgusting.

The reality of it left a bitter taste in Sephiroth's mouth.

Sephiroth never took his eyes from the window but he was still somehow aware of everything around him. Though he was not looking at Zack (he had no desire to cast a glance in the boy's direction) he could vividly see in his mind's eye his spiky, black hair. He could see and feel the intensity of Zack's Mako-blue eyes gazing on him. It was unnerving to be looked at like that but Sephiroth remained still as a statue.

"Why?"

It was a simple question. But the answer that young Fair wanted to know was anything but simple. Sephiroth said nothing in response. How could he describe in words the emptiness of his life? Or the prison he was held captive by? How could he make Zack understand that he was just like this train, moving perpetually in one direction and going nowhere but where the train tracks led? Midgar was a fucked up place and he was trapped inside of its iron prison, weighted down by obligation and fealty.

As the train descended beneath the plate, so did the sky. The eternal smog that blackened Midgar's sky reminded him that blue skies was not meant for him. Sephiroth hated Midgar. It was a plague upon the planet, one that should be wiped out. The absolute vehemence he felt behind that thought made him pause, made him wonder, but then Zack was suddenly standing in front of him and looking impatience as usual.

Zack wanted an answer and Sephiroth did not know how to answer him.

"Why?" Zack asked again. Though he spoke softly, Sephiroth could hear a sense of urgency in Zack's voice, as if he needed an answer to survive. "Have you nothing to say in your defense? Will you leave the ones who look up to you in puzzlement over your actions?"

Sephiroth almost laughed at Zack's words. Sephiroth had known since his very first memory that he was different from everyone around him but he could never understand why. He hadn't even realized that he'd been living in bondage until... until he became SOLDIER 1st Class. How ironic – to grow up in bondage and not even realize it.

He'd watched the other SOLDIERs whoop and rejoice at being selected to be part of the elite. They hugged each other, laughed, and told the most inane of jokes. They spoke of families and friends they'd left behind. They spoke of their wives or girlfriends. And sometimes both.

Except for Sephiroth.

Because he had nothing to go back to or live for, Sephiroth had no fear. The life or death adrenaline rush didn't course through his veins. In the midst of a battle, he was not thinking of the things had to live for but rather he was contemplating the most effective battle strategies. It didn't matter to him if he lived or died – only the successful completion of his mission goal simply because Sephiroth liked to win.

And win he did. He did it exceptionally well and had in turn earned a legion of fans. Young boys who wanted to be just like him. Boys like Fair. Boys who idolized him, wanted to be him. Did they not know Sephiroth wished many days he could be like them?

"I do as I please, Fair, and that is all. I attacked Scarlet simply because I felt like it." It was a cold answer but Sephiroth responded the only way he knew how.

There was a sharp intake of breath. He knew that wasn't the answer that Zack was expecting. The young boy was idealistic. He didn't want to admit to himself that his General, his idol, was nothing more than a cruel bastard. Zack wanted to see the humanity under Sephiroth's cold exterior. Humanity. What a joke.

However, when Sephiroth thought of Hojo and President Shinra, he could not help but wonder what exactly defined a person as human? It could not be the ability to feel because animals felt emotions too. They understood fear and contentment and kindness. If he were to treat a dog with nothing but love, would it not love him back? So what was it that made humans different from animals? Was it simply their ability to be capable of higher thought, their ability to conquer and kill?

But what if there was a being capable of thought much greater than humans and had the ability to conquer and kill not just humans but entire cosmos? Would that being be considered human or a monster? Where did a person draw the line?

"I don't believe you."

At this, Sephiroth did look at Zack. He looked into the young boy's eyes and could see such life. This was a boy who would turn into a great man. Zack was not one to be bound to tracks. He was free. Though he worked for Shinra, he was not owned by them and therefore could never understand his predicament – never understand him. Zack was a people person; he did not understand isolation. "I never asked you to believe me."

"Where did you disappear too? You weren't seen for awhile…"

"_There, there Sephiroth," Hojo said in that fatherly voice, soft and kind. He laid his hand on top of Sephiroth's head and smiled. "There's no need to worry. I've simply made some adjustments to the doses of Mako you'll be receiving."_

"_I don't want to be here," Sephiroth responded weakly, childishly. The world was bright and spinning. Faces appeared and disappeared and the heavy fog in his mind refused to let him comprehend. How did he get in Hojo's lab? His body was immobile on the laboratory table and he just couldn't think straight. Why couldn't he focus? Why did he feel heavy? Why? Why? Why? "Hojo… bastard."_

"_Stupid boy. You attacked Scarlet, almost kill her and think there will be no repercussions for your actions?" Hojo's voice rose angrily, the kindness disappearing as if it'd never been there in the first place. The smile, the smile that had made Sephiroth feel safe turned into something twisted and evil. "You are simply nothing boy but a tool. It would do you good to remember your place in this world."_

_Sephiroth could not even formulate a coherent sentence. The only thing he could do was beg. How embarrassing, how humiliating to be so weak. And there standing in the shadows was President Shinra, puffing that toxic smoke from his cigar. And he was not there because he was sadistic – no President Shinra wanted a confirmation that his creation would not lash out at the creator. He needed to know that Sephiroth had weaknesses. He needed to know that Sephiroth was not invincible. _

_Because if what he feared were true, then who would save him?_

_President Shinra stepped forward. "I feed you! Cloth you! Give you money and a job! I give you a reason to live and this is how you re-pay me?" President Shinra snarled and turned to look at Hojo. "Make it painful, Professor Hojo. In return for the trouble he's caused, the delays he's put in my schedule, I want his screams. Naughty children must be punished."_

_And then there was that damned laughter from Hojo._

Zack frowned in response to the silence. Sephiroth mastered how to say so much without saying a word at all. It was amazing at how he changed the intensity of his look, amazing how much expression he could get across with just his eyes. Normally, he had a look of complete emptiness or one of eternal annoyance. But lately, Zack had noticed that Sephiroth had different look about him. He seemed to look at people as if he were passing judgment on them, as if he were determining their worth as a human. It was unnerving and he wanted to know why.

"General! Sir! Answer me!"

Sephiroth silenced Zack with a sharp look. How dare his subordinate speak to him in such a manner! Out of all the SOLDIERs recruits, Zack had shown the most potential and because of that, Sephiroth had been very lenient with Zack, overlooking many things he would not with other Shinra personnel. And though he cursed himself a thousand times over, he found himself repeating the exact fucking words Hojo had spoken to him. "It would do you good to remember your place in this world, boy."

"Uh…"

"Exactly who do you think you are that you can demand answers from me? Remember, you remain in SOLDIER because of me and no other reason. Do not dare cross those lines again or I shall forever remove your tongue from your mouth."

If Sephiroth spoke it, then it was to come to pass and Zack slightly trembled in fear at the stormy anger raging his eyes. Not even the Northern Glaciers could be as cold as the tone in his voice. So deadly, so authoritative, so filled with malice – and yet so damn enchanting. "Forgive me sir," Zack replied softly, hanging his down in disappointment.

"Humph," Sephiroth muttered, leaning back and closing his eyes. This was his rebellion, his burden to bear alone. He would not drag anyone else down the hellish road he'd chosen to walk. "I do as I as please, Fair, and I do not need to explain my motives. In the end, there is none who can stop me so why bother? It is a waste of energy and I do not believe in wasting energy unnecessarily. Do not bother me again until the train stops."

Zack nodded and took a seat. But his face held determination. Though he'd upset Sephiroth, he wasn't going to give up on his idol. Even if it killed him, he would become the bridge that closed the distance Sephiroth put between himself and the world. Fear would not hold him back; Sephiroth was his idol and it was so painful to Zack that Sephiroth did not even realize how much he idolized him.

But if only Zack knew… if only he knew that Sephiroth was not angry at him but rather, Sephiroth was angry at himself. Angry for being weak.

Hojo got him once. It would not happen twice.

And the Planet itself trembled in fear of what was to come...

* * *

A/N: I know its been awhile. Forgive me. But real life gets in the way. I'm glad now to have gotten this out the way. If I switch between Aeris and Aerith in the fic, I ask for forgiveness. When I type, I just go with whatever naturally comes to me at that time and I am far too lazy to go back and edit her name out. Hopefully, that will not distract from the overall fic. I thought about adding characters from the other FFVII games but I haven't actually had a chance to play the other games besides DoC. Until I've played Crisis Core, I will leave those characters out. Though I've read them in other people's fics, I do not want other people's perceptions of these characters to become my own.


	9. The Fate of Trains Rewrite

A/N: I usually place my author's note at the bottom of my fics so that readers can jump into the story. However, I felt compelled to add it at the beginning of this. Why, you wonder, are there two different versions of this chapter?

Your author is a complete ditz. That's why. The chapter you read before this one is the _**ORIGINAL**_ chapter written for my fic. But I somehow or other could not find the word document anywhere on either of my computers. So in complete anguish, I wrote this to replace the original chapter. It does not flow at all with the rest of the story even though I tried to make it work. I actually like this rewrite better in some ways but I feel the original holds true to the style that I was going with.

Of course, after I've re-written the chapter, I find the original and now have two different versions of the same chapter. Go figure. I could not bear to discard the original or the rewrite, so I decided to post both of them. You of course can chose which one you like best. To me, it doesn't really matter. Both versions are my writing and I love them both the same, albeit for different reasons.

So please, enjoy this (accidental) rewrite of the chapter: The Fate of Trains.

* * *

The fate of trains was a sad one, Sephiroth realized, as the train chugged quickly along the tracks. The train could go no direction other than where the tracks led it. And at the end of its journey, it had no choice but to return to the beginning. Were human lives the same as trains running along railroad tracks? It seemed that way. After all, Sephiroth moved in only one direction and that was the direction that Shinra led him. And at the end of the day, Sephiroth returned to Shinra like a well trained pup.

How pathetic his life - nothing more than a dog of Shinra.

"Finally," Zack said, standing and stretching in the empty car. And it was empty because really, what fools would ride the same train car with the most feared man on the planet? "I can't wait to get there. I hope she waited."

Sephiroth said nothing. He continued to stare out of the window of train. Amazing, Zack thought, watching his idol sit unmoving. Not a single muscle twitched and if it were not for the subtle rise and fall of Sephiroth's chest and his blinking eyes, Zack might have really thought the man in front of him a statue. Zack wondered what it was that held his leader's attention so.

Zack had only recently made it to SOLDIER and true, he had worked with Sephiroth just a few times, but not enough to say they were best of buds. In all honesty, Zack didn't really know how to deal with Sephiroth. He bragged to people about how he and Sephiroth were good friends but that wasn't true; he only did it for selfish reasons. He wanted to make himself look good, look special. He wanted to people to be impressed with him. But now, now that he was actually in the presence of his idol without the threat of outside danger, Zack was intrigued.

The man was greater than most could possibly imagine. The General was absolutely beautiful - and it seemed strange to use such a feminine word to describe a legendary SOLDIER but it fit him. And Zack found it so endearing that Sephiroth did not even realize his own beauty. Just like Aeris. But unlike Aeris, Sephiroth was not his friend nor did the man show any inclination that he wanted to be. It was the way Sephiroth looked at him, he supposed. Sephiroth had a way of looking at person and making them feel like their presence was something to be tolerated.

But Sephiroth had come to the station. That had to mean something. "So General, sir..."

"We're off duty. No need to be so formal," Sephiroth interrupted.

Zack swallowed. Though it was a simple request, the authorative tone of voice made it seem like a command. "Er, right. Sephiroth."

It was weird to call his name. In fact, no one really called his name. It was always "General." To say his name, one had to whisper it. _Cherish it. Adore it. Envy it. Hate it_. Even his name held power. It was awe-inspiring really.

"Sephiroth," Zack tried again. A bit louder. "Ummm... you don't have to talk about it. Not really but everyone wants to know why you attacked Scarlet. I mean I don't care. I'm sure you had your reasons. She's been in intensive care since the incident and all though she's alive, people aren't sure she'll live. Did they... did they... punish you?"

Not one flinch, not one muscle moved. How cold. How heartless. But then Sephiroth did turn his head and he looked directly at Zack. His eyes trained on him as if Zack was the only person in the world that existed at the moment. Beautiful, glowing emerald eyes... how beautiful.

The lights went off on the train as they reached a security check point but yet Sephiroth's eyes remained an ever vivid green. He never took his eyes off Zack and the boy found himself squirming under such scrutiny. He wanted to yell at Sephiroth to stop violating him... to stop judging him. Zack licked his lips and his eyes traveled down to Sephiroth's lips, thin and pursed.

_Does he ever smile?_

Sephiroth tilted his head. "Scarlet still lives only because I was in a good mood. If I had meant to kill her that day, I could have easily sliced her body in half."

The icy stare of his eyes was also reflected in his voice. Zack trembled. Sephiroth talked of killing someone as if he were discussing the weather. Something mundane, boring, non-exciting. Was killing people nothing to him? Did he not have nightmares? Did he cry or mourn for those who had to die by his blade?

"But Sephiroth... why?"

Zack had only blinked. Honestly, that's all he did. And by the time he had re-opened his eyes, Masamune was pressing against his cheek. The blade was cold and sharp. Sephiroth was standing, his sword stretched outward. Just a few moments ago, Sephiroth's eyes were cold as ice his but now his eyes shined with fire. Brilliant, blazing fire with so much passion in them he could probably burn the whole world to ashes.

If there was such a thing as a holy fire, then Zack knew he'd seen it. He'd seen within the depths of Sephiroth's eyes. Anger, burning, raging... hate. If he listened closely enough, he could swear Sephiroth's sword was singing; the simple anticipation that it might once again taste blood seem to make his sword vibrate and hum. It - an inanimate object - was eager for blood, was happy at the thought of drawing it.

"Why did you harm her?"

"I simply wanted to do it."

**_How inhumane..._**

"And what of me?" Zack asked, afraid and yet somehow still filled with admiration. If he was able to pick his death, then he wanted to die by Sephiroth's sword. For the General was a great man - he was everything that Zack wanted to be; strong, silent, brave... "You will kill even your own allies?"

"If it so pleased me," Sephiroth responded.

Zack released a breath he had been holding and looked away. He was not worried that his commander would kill him. He was not worried at all. For that was the trust he'd placed in the man he'd chosen to follow. "I just don't understand."

Perhaps Sephiroth saw the devotion, perhaps he even liked that admiration. Whatever the reason, Sephiroth sheathed his sword and returned to his seat next to his subordinate. "Imagine a train, Zack. Do you not think its fate is cruel?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

"This train can go nowhere but where its tracks take it. It is bound by Fate to move perpetually in one direction. It doesn't matter if it wants to go west or east – it can only move where the tracks take it. Can you imagine the frustration of the train? Not being able to escape its path – forced to move in the direction its creators deemed fit. Can you imagine how suffocating the train's bondage must be?"

Zack remained silent but he did look out of the train window. He'd always been free to explore and do as he pleased. Sure, he had orders handed down to him and followed them simply because he wanted too. Zack was not forced to stay with Shinra and could leave when he felt like it. No, he really could not imagine a life of an eternal servitude, forced to do things he did not want to do.

"But if the train was to rebel, to defy its Fate," Zack chose his words carefully, "Would it not cause a train wreck of massive proportions? Would people not suffer greatly?"

"There can be no creation without destruction. In order for Shinra to re-create Wutai into the place it seems fit, do we not first have to plow through the land and disfigure it? Do we not first have to cleanse its lands to make way for the new age Shinra wishes to create? Destruction is a vital to creativity."

_**How pitiful the existence of a train**_, Zack thought, watching out the window as it fast descended into the slums.


End file.
